Congratulations Wookiee!

While I was away last week, Wookiee proposed to his girlfriend and they're planning to get married later this year! I don't have much to say about it other than yay! I'm sure they will continue to be enormously happy together until long after I've shuffled off this mortal coil . He's all grown up and a real adult now, and I'm still cheerfully keeping the light on at the No Responsibility Dorm. Wook, I forgot to ask you if she ended up being surprised or not when you asked. Also, you know how I like to organize shit, so if you guys need help with anything, let me know!

Random Quote #2

Wookiee, on eating mushrooms in the snow, "It's going to be a true Canadian psychedelic experience."

Foiled!

First the good news. I was told by my boss yesterday afternoon that they want me to keep coming in to work and that they would find some way to pay me until the HR glitch is fixed. This could take anywhere from two weeks to two months, so I hope they 'find some way' to pay me until then. Okay, so last night when I got home I started to unpack my bag and clean some stuff up in my place so that I could upload pictures, blog, do some online banking, etc. I was enjoying some music and on a cleaning roll when, bink, the power went out. I live in a fairly wooded area and the having the power go out is nothing unusual. Often it comes back on just as I've finally felt my way through the dark to the oil lamps and lit a match to get them going. So last night I waited in the dark for a few minutes before going to light lamps and candles, but the power stayed out. My dad had taken my car and I didn't have a battery operated radio so I had no idea what was happening or how long it would last. I didn't want to ride my motorcycle somewhere either because with the power off, so was the alarm. An unidentified woman broke into my house twice this year (a long story I won't get into here) so I didn't want to leave the place undefended. Instead I reclined on the couch in the kitchen and listened for signs of an intruder. The house started to get cold, but maybe it wasn't as cold as I thought because of my acclimatization to Cuban weather. It's amazing how little there is to do at night when you don't have electricity. The lamp lighting was too dim to do any reading, and I was pretty tired anyway, so I just gave up hope of the power coming back on and went to bed. When I woke up this morning everything was back online, so I hope that tonight, I will finally be able to see if I took any decent pictures in Cuba. Either that or you'll likely find me at the Canadian Tire buying a generator.

Back In The Wet

I got home at about 11:30 last night and I was back to work again this morning at 7:00, so as you can imagine, it'll be a little while until I get a post up about Cuba. I'm definitely looking forward to uploading my pictures tonight. It was raining when I got home, and it made me so happy! I think I had my fill of hot, humid, sweaty grime over the past week - although I am liking my tan. In other news, my boss just came in this morning and told me that there was a little glitch with my contract extension while I was away. Right now it's looking like I'll be sent home and I have no idea when I'll have a job again. Perfect timing. I just spent a few grand last month doing the New York and Cuba thing. Yeesh. Well, the good news is, if I'm unemployed for a little while I can concentrate on school, which starts up again next week, and maybe even post like a devil blogger...whatever that means.

Off The Grid

Well, I'm off to Cuba now! I'm going from Havana to Santiago de Cuba and back, returning home in the New Year. January 1st is Triunfo de la Revolución (Liberation Day) in Cuba, so I expect that New Year's is going to be quite the experience. It's my first visit, I'm going alone, and I don't really speak Spanish anymore...so I'm excited but a little nervous. It's going to be amazing. ¡Adiós todos, le ven en el Año Nuevo!

The List

Back in the late 90s, Louis moved into my place in Waterloo, Ontario. We're both psychotic, so inexplicable insanity was always on display at the apartment. We were constantly laughing at things until we were crying, choking, in pain, stamping our feet, and unable to function at all. Eventually we decided to post a piece of paper in the kitchen where we could write down the things that we laughed at. We kept taping new pieces of paper onto it until Louis moved to Montreal and the tradition was halted. We ended up just short of a hundred items on the list, and it is now known as The 98 Things Spage & Louis Laughed At In Waterloo. The original includes pictures and accents to words, I still have it in a box somewhere, saved for future framing. There's probably nothing on it that makes any sense to anyone but Lou & I, but if you want to ask about any of them, I'd be more than happy to give you the attached story. Without further ado, I present,

The 98 Things Spage & Louis Laughed At In Waterloo

1. "I want to jump in a lake!"

2. Penny stairs

3. "Check the O.R., you like it so far?"

4. Dancing the Nutcracker Ballet

5. The cat must think we're insane

6. We want to hang things around the cat's neck

7. "Yes I dooo..."

8. The Face

9. "Now my pudding is trapped forever!"

10. Hiding the angel

11. Peeking at the foreign people

12. Running with laundry

13. "Quesadilla requires pita!"

14. The Love Connection Dance

15. The can of Meestory!

16. Svetlana

17. Fig-it

18. "You must build me a theatre, you must come everyday and you will be paid very well. Everyday you must come visit me, and we will have conversations about many things."

19. Transexual Pea

20. Looking for bodywash

21. Wrong hour

22. "Do you want to see my impression of a chow chow?"

23. Stretching while touching elbow

24. Exploding Twizzlers

25. Soft Strong

26. Sticky Goo

27. Bpppppt

28. Anti-Freeze

29. "I don't like you oh my god."

30. 42 in a row

31. Atzpee

32. Some kind of War

33. Puking Head

34. Yes/No

35. Delusional Clam

36. Woody Game

37. Wax?

38. Discount Cat Coupons

39. Natural Phenomenon

40. Hm: The Many Definitions

41. "But you can't write with sounds."

42. De-salinization of tears

43. "Wa wah wawawawawa waaaah!"

44. Gigantic Surprise

45. Chinese Rabbit Hair

46. Flush a brush

47. Showcase Teddy Bear

48. "The calendar is on the TV because it rained."

49. "Oh my gawd! It snowed so much! Do you know what this means?"

50. "Madonna was married to Sean Penn??"

51. Grapes

52. Watches, Igloos & General Insanity

53. "Must be Santa..."

54. Butt Chasing

55. "Why don't I just buy duck?"

56. "Who cares?! You're going to be wearing a coconut brassiere!"

57. "Y'know the little Starbucks kwt?!"

58. "So, we're not getting up until 1?"
"No, noon!"
"Oh no! That means I can't go to the washroom!"

59. "...my language."
"Your language!"
"My language!!"
sub-clause: simple and sexy

60. "We should gas some people."

61. Demonstration of floor space

62. "Are you ready?"
"Oh no!!"
"New pack? Wait! I want to see the ceremonial opening! Oh! Now we have to go to the garbage can!"

63. Misunderstanding the pee conversation

64. "Ryan Raymond Richdale...sounds like a BBQ sauce."

65. "Hi! It's me, are you there?"

66. Maniacal pee ("How does one pee like a maniac?!")

67. Cat buttcheeks

68. "Hey you guys, this thing is FREE!!"

69. *laughing* "He could say anything!"
"Yeah, he could say; 'There's pus coming out of my ear!'"

70. Mickey Mouxe - not Mouxe Mouse

71. lalalalala la blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah yeeeeeee! foo nah!

72. *singing* "No it doesn't" "It totally does"

73. Happy Feet

74. Falling off the Truck of Knowledge

75. The Egg Cup who couldn't speak

76. "Oh my god! Branjeet called?!?"

77. "I know what you're doing!"

78. "What do you mean 'That's like me'?? Oh...you mean 'That's like me'."

79. "Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! You should go to war!"

80. "We need groceries dude."

81. "We're going to have a toilet paper crisis soon."
"When?"

82. The Giant Cookie (and how to get it into one's apt.)

83. "Ha ha ha ha!"
"No! Not that!"
"No, I was thinking about something completely different."

84. Liquid shit

85. Waking up to uteran flesh

86. "Is it a catalogue?"
"Yes, it's a catalogue, 'Here's some things you might like to buy - Merry Christmas!'"

87. for me, for you

88. "For your schedule next week; when do you know?"

89. "Yes, we are getting waves on the sides."

90. "Remember, when you're in New York, and someone hands you a pill
and says 'Swallow this!', what do you do?"

91. "The drug dealers are so crafty!" (As in Arts & Crafts)

92. "Shoe" Status

93. "I'm not yet sexually attracted to my video game character."

94. "Who would ever know that's a fireplace?"
"The little green elves that say 'Ma'!"

95. (During Halloween Bowl Toss) "That's why I can't throw knives."

96. (During Halloween Bowl Toss) "You look like you're in the trenches."
"I am!"

97. "We're not supposed to take pictures of these games, because then
there's evidence that they exist."

98. "What the hell was that?!"

Atheist Christmas Digression

Wookiee and I were talking the other day about religious labels. I was being subjected to Karaoke Xmas Carols at work for a manager sponsored 'party'. I was on the phone with Wookiee and commented that I refused to sing praise to God. Carol after carol came on talking about the faithful, adoring Him, worship, Jesus, and all that shit. I mean, I won't even sing the God line in my own National Anthem ("God keep our land"), I just join back in at "glorious and free". Now to be fair, ChristMass is mostly all about that religious stuff (except to me it's just the commercialism side), so people should take part in whatever they want, I'm not condemning it, I just don't take part. Anyway, we got on a tangent about how we define ourselves in this respect. Wookiee said that we are, of course, atheists. I agreed, but pointed out that it's not quite accurate, for example, our after death beliefs, while not identical, are more complex than a single currently accepted word can define. I don't like to use the term "other", because I do find it necessary to make it clear that this is a No God Zone. So I suggested a modification of terminology that will be my new answer for those who ask where my spiritual tendencies lie - I think, that Wookiee and I, are Atheist Plus.

Magnetic Poetry #1

mist

our screams are gone
robbing me of all recall
an avoided stare
easily knifed time
a madly delirious moon
essentially trudging above shadow
eternity loves a blue car
rust does not
I felt dreamily at sea
producing elaborate symphonies
together through you




A note about the Magnetic Poetry posts. These are not all by me. They are any that I come across and remember to write down or photograph.

Falsely Blaming Canada

I'm on a misinformation roll here. Apparently U.S. officials are still telling their people that September 11th terrorists came from Canada (article). In actuality, "investigators have determined that not one of the attackers entered the United States from Canada or Mexico." Not one. I feel bad for Americans for not knowing the truth about anything because they're all subject to rampant censorship and propaganda. Can you believe that the U.S. ambassador told our politicians not to criticize America, while they go ahead and say crap like this about us? You know, even though Canada's ambassador got a written apology for the comment, it doesn't mean the American public got to hear about it. So I guess they'll go on believing whatever is fed to them, can't blame them really, it's the people they trust that are lying to them. I also like that the Senator in question talks about security problems that "clearly exist on the border", and then cites examples of when people with plans of bombing were stopped at the border. So the security problems are that bombers are being stopped from entering the country? Or that they exist at all? What are you saying Mr. Senator? This reminds me of one of the shakedowns I got at an airport on my way to New York. I was flying the day after that bipolar guy off his meds in Miami got shot upwards of six times by air marshals. I was having my Febreeze confiscated as some kind of dangerous weapon, so I told security that I had in fact purchased that Febreeze (with receipt still attached to the Duane Reade bag) in New York and had flown it across Canada and the border about 6 times this year before that day. She retorted with, "We have to maintain security, didn't you hear what happened yesterday in Miami?" All I could say was something like, "Yeah, so?", but I wanted to be my cheeky bastard self and say, "You mean the guy who didn't have a bomb? You're going to try and justify your fake security measures by citing an example where if you had absolutely no security, no guards, no dogs, no detectors of any kind, still nothing would have happened because he had no bomb, no weapons, and wasn't a terrorist? And by the way, what the hell does that have to do with Febreeze? You must have a quota to reach for the number of confiscated items at airport security huh?" I find that a lot of people tend to use inaccurate examples to reinforce their arguments, I hate not being able to call people on it, but I didn't want to get taken into the secret room with no camera or witnesses so I had to let it go.

Mistaken Information

Okay, shit like this just pisses me off to no end. I just read this article on CBC about the RCMP catching people who get high and drive. I'm not going to get into mad detail right now about why smoking weed and driving is actually not insanely dangerous. No, it's not. There have been many studies done. It's been found that drivers who are high, drive at a slower and steadier rate, take more precautions and fewer chances, and are less likely to cause an accident than a sober person. At any rate, that's not what pisses me off, of course I expect law enforcement to push some bullshit view about marijuana. What makes me boil with rage is this; in the article, they have some civilians talk about how driving high is normal and not a problem, then the article goes on to say,

"That kind of mistaken information is what prompted a new media campaign aimed at drivers who get high before they get behind the wheel.

Bob Rorison, who is now the local president of MADD, was injured in an accident by a driver who was high on cocaine and booze. The driver only served two months in jail."

COCAINE AND BOOZE! They're trying to tell me, and you, and everyone else, that driving while high on cocaine and drunk is the same as smoking a bowl??? You want to know why some misinformed people try 'serious' drugs after trying marijuana? Because the powers that be actually have people believing they're equivalent, and when they smoke pot, they realize that it's no big deal, and then assume that since, for example, cocaine is apparently the same as marijuana, that it would be alright to try that too. It's total shit! THEY ARE NOT THE SAME! You will get no argument from me that you should get drunk and strung out drivers off the streets, but don't you dare try and say that some asshole at a road check who is all fucked up on cocaine (or heroin, or pcp, or crank, or whatever) and wasted on liquor is the equivalent of a stoned driver. Besides, alcohol on it's own or in combination with anything else will always produce dangerous driving. Do not ever come to me foaming at the mouth, spewing misinformation and then accuse the public of being misinformed. Police, government, lobby/activist groups fucking disgust me sometimes...okay, most times.

Tattoo Self-Photography

I realized the other day that I've never taken any pictures of my tattoos, and I've had one of them since 1998! So I tried to take some pictures of them, but they ended up being remarkably difficult to photograph. I think it's mostly because they're on my forearms, so a) I have to hold the camera at a point where I can't look at the screen or viewfinder, b) using my left hand/one hand means it's very hard to hold the camera steady so things get blurry, and c) there is no lighting that I could use that seemed to work without me creating a shadow over myself. Anyway, here are the two best of my attempts (some of which required elaborate use of a tripod!)

My first tattoo, done at Tattoo Art in Kitchener, Ontario. This one encircles my right forearm.


This one is on the inside of my left forearm. I got it at a random parlour in New York a few of years ago on the spur of the moment. I'm not even sure what neighbourhood I was in, East Village? Greenwich? something like that.

One day I hope to have my entire location tattooed up my left arm. What does this mean? I'm thinking, the spot below the maple leaf should indicate the province of British Columbia (maybe the shield?), and below that I would have something indicating Vancouver (I don't know what yet). The spot above the leaf would be the earth with the North American side shown (I think I'd want it realistic looking), the spot above that will be the solar system (the planets and their paths of travel), then above that up onto my left shoulder I'd like our galaxy inked in. I figure this way, if I'm ever shot into space and I'm floating around and some other life form finds me, they'll be able to figure out where I came from. Or if I'm preserved pretty well in ice or a bog somewhere, if I'm found long into the future, they'd know where I was from too. I guess I also just like the idea of having my celestial address in pictograms emblazoned on me. Although, I almost got a firedancer tattoo this summer, except there were no appointment times available before I left for Gorge. Now I don't even think I want it anymore. I'm going to hold onto the address idea for a much longer while before I commit. Too many impulse tattoos may be sources of regret in the future, and anyone who knows me, knows that I abhor regret and have managed to avoid it thus far. I presume that's a positive result of over-thinking.

Letter to Wookiee #3

Dude, (do I start all letters and convos to you with the word 'dude'?) it looks like they're taking down the billboard in your hood. Which one? The one that we used to not know who they were advertising to until we came at it from the eastside. I dunno, I guess it should come down, but at the same time, I'm gonna miss it. What do you think? Here's the article. Oh, and the commotion that preceded the "No, they just have absolutely no class!" statement from Penny was her giving us seasonal presents. Mine included another puck of licorice soap! Oh yeah! You know you're jealous!

Viva The U.S. Senate

Yes, you heard me, viva them. It was a close vote, but the U.S. Senate has blocked drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge! I am, as are many of my co-workers, shocked and incredibly pleased that they did. In the article, the Republicans are heavily criticized for this being "one of the biggest bait-and-switch deals...seen on the floor of the United States Senate" by "tucking the drilling approvals into an omnibus defence bill". I'm sure this issue isn't now gone forever, but hopefully the votes will continue to be against drilling in this or any other refuge.

Some News Of The Day

The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that swingers clubs don't harm society and shouldn't be considered illegal (article). They pointed out that community standards should not be how harm is judged. Right on, that's what I've been saying about the Conservative Party of Canada. Just because something is not popular with the majority (gay marriage for example) that doesn't mean it shouldn't be allowed. Sometimes you have to have to stand up for what's right or what's fair, not what the majority wants, no matter how far removed it may be from your personal philosophies.

I guess this US judge will now be called a liberal tool just for applying the law, but here's some good news! I'm glad to see this ruling about intelligent design. The judge ruled that "that intelligent design cannot be taught in a Grade 9 biology class in Pennsylvania, saying it amounts to teaching a secular version of creationism." Further, he states that the school board policy violates the U.S. Constitution, and should be struck down "to preserve the separation of church and state." I guess George will just have to change the Constitution so that he can get this pseudoscience into schools. I often wonder how things we do today will look in the history books of the future, I worry that we're going to appear very very foolish.

Penn State University may have a complete genome of the woolly mammoth genome in about a year! (article) A 28,000 year old mammoth jaw bone containing DNA was found in Siberia this summer by a team led by Hendrik Poinar, an anthropologist at Hamilton's McMaster University. I can't wait to find out what kind of information they'll gather about this extinct giant! I'm such a geek.

What Is Anti-Climactic?

So, when I went to Red Rocks in September, due to tailgating (partying, not driving) before each show, I never got into the venue early enough to buy one of the limited edition (1100 printed) posters for the venue before they sold out. I never even got to see what one looked like. Since returning from Colorado, I’ve checked on ebay nearly every day to see if anybody was selling one. All I ever found was a 1993 Red Rocks poster for the Samples and their supporting acts including the Tragically Hip and DMB being sold for $150.00 US. Yesterday, I finally found a 2005 DMB Red Rocks poster. It’s being sold by someone in Potomac, Maryland for $325.00 US. $325.00! Anyway, I finally got to see it, and it sucks! The best thing I can say about it, is that it’s only for the first 3 nights, as the fourth night was announced too late for me to change my flight, therefore I did not attend. So, it turns out, I don’t even want it. Now that, is anti-climactic.

What Is Not Anti-Climactic?

On another, but related, note, I received my Complete Weekend On The Rocks package from Virginia last night. It's the 8 CD, 1 DVD, 1 T-Shirt, 1 Calendar Red Rocks pre-order extravaganza I bought a very long time ago. It's fucking brilliant, just beautiful! I only had time to watch most of the DVD, and on the final pan of the crowd at the end of Jimi, I spotted myself! Very exciting stuff. Can't wait to hear the shows again!