Too Many Idiots

I know I harp on stuff like this a lot, but it's just too disgusting!

At the day job I'm collecting data on the children and youth programs we are running in some communities in British Columbia. One thing we ask for is a list of staff positions on site and their qualifications.

One of these reports has the Early Childhood Educator attempting to tell us that they have two Educators and a Program Coordinator. This person listed them as such:

Program Coordinator

Eductor

Educdtor

And they also failed to list the qualifications. Well, these Educators are clearly not qualified!

Seriously, Eductor and Educdtor?? What the fraking hell is an EDUCDTOR??

Why Doesn't Vancouver Exist?

I've shown examples of it before, but here we go again.

I just read this article about the exceptional statistic that there have been no murders committed in Quebec City in almost a year. At the bottom of the page there is a list of Canadian cities and their murder rates over the past two years. Do you notice any conspicuous omissions?

MURDERS IN 2006 / TO DATE THIS YEAR / POPULATION SIZES

Toronto 99 70 2,503,281

Montreal 52 35 1,620,693

Edmonton 39 23 730,372

Calgary 26 26 988,193

Winnipeg 22 23 633,451

Ottawa 16 10 812,129

Saskatoon 8 5 202,340

Windsor 3 3 216,473

Quebec City 7 0 491,142

Regina 8 5 179,246

Sure, Saskatoon and Windsor get shout outs, but one of the largest cities in the country is ignored. Further evidence that when people look West they just can't see past Alberta.

Overheard In The Office #3

Incorrect use of the word "dramatic" on one side of a phone conversation to a roommate.

"Stinky [the cat] ate some plastic?"
...
"Oh, he's just being all dramatical."
...
"Well, you better get him food or he's going to be all dramatical until we get home!"

Threw, Through, Throw

I just opened a piece of mail. It was an anonymous complaint letter from one of our communities. In it, the self-described Early Childhood Educator who has been working with children for ten years, repeatedly used 'threw' when she meant to use 'through'. These were minor errors among other glaring offences to English.

I put it away to stop my head from involuntary shaking it's sad back and forth and opened an e-mail I received from a co-worker about some broken glass on my floor. He suggested that "we through the glass out" when the movers arrive.

I want to throw them both off the payroll.


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Simple Lives

Life must be so basic for chicks. Everything in their lives seem to be expressions of the same objective: getting a man. And they believe that it is men who are that singularly focused on their prey. Please.

I've been trying to decide what courses to register for this summer. I picked one history class called War in the Modern World and then there were two others that are at the same time so I have to pick one. They are; Foundation of Economics and another history course, Introduction to Modern East Asia.

I asked one of my female supervisors for her opinion on whether she thought it was wise to take two History courses at the same time with the same instructor, if she had any personal insights, etc. It was a useless endeavour.

After declaring all three courses to be boring based on their titles, she suggested I find out which instructor was hotter and to take that class. When I informed her that History was taught by a man and Economics by a woman, she quickly handed me back the course descriptions and declared the decision to be obvious; you take the courses taught by the man. She called the choice a "no-brainer".

*sigh* Yes indeed. I suppose one with no brain would use that decision making process.

Actually, It's You, Not Me

I work for the Federal Government of Canada, and one of the peripheral expectations of the job is to be aware of current world events, whether they be related to local social policy or conflict abroad. However even if not employed by some level of government or political science department, I would expect my fellow humans to have some knowledge of these issues - or at least be interested to know. Sadly, it was once again demonstrated to me that most people are idiots.

I was talking to two of my co-workers upon my return from New York the other day. They asked me how my trip went and I was trying to think of work appropriate anecdotes.

"Actually, on the ferry ride back to Manhattan from Randall's Island the second night, I met a few guys from Arizona." They nodded as I continued, "The day before, they had been sitting in the window of some cafe when Kofi Annan, his wife, and two bodyguards walked by on the sidewalk!"

I finished the story with my eyes wide with excitement, anticipating their reactions. Instead, they both looked blankly at me.

"Isn't that cool?" I continued, trying to read their faces, "It would have been so neat to see him just walking down the streets of New York."

More stares of confusion greet me. I think I see the problem here. "You know Kofi Annan right?"

"Ahh...no..." One of them said, "Is he in a band or an actor or something?"

"What?? No. Kofi Annan! The UN Secretary General? The dude who's like, head of the UN? Been all over the news for months? You know?? Kofi Annan??" I sputtered incredulously.

They just shrugged their shoulders, still lost in this unfamiliar data. Then they laughed. At me. Because they thought it was funny that I would find some 'nobody' that they had never heard of before as interesting or cool.

*groan*

This moronic display was too pathetic for me to laugh at (even if only in my head). I only felt pity, for them, me, and the planet. I just smiled, relayed some fake understanding and compassion, thought briefly of what it might be like to live as they do, then walked away with an internal head shake. What else can you do with someone who would rather ridicule you than learn a little something about the world?

The Brain Trust

You know, I complain a lot about people's inability to use the English language. How can I ignore the obscene desecrations I'm constantly subjected to? How often are the people who are mangling the language the same people who yelp the loudest about 'foreigners' learning to speak English. Or maybe they're the people who think that 'American' is a different language from English? Which, by the way, is one of the most frightening and appalling things I've ever heard. I was listening to some music on an online radio station where you can request songs and dedicate them to people within a small text box when the following dedication came up;

"STARKEISHA I LUV YOO. YOO NO YOU R MAH BOO.

HAY THAT'S A RYHME.

Dedicated by
STARKEESHA

Where do I even start with this? The only words that are even spelled correctly are 'I', 'YOU', 'THAT'S', and 'A'. I'm not counting 'NO' because it's supposed to be 'KNOW'.

And the glowing pride of satisfaction for the shrewdly complex rhyming of 'YOO' and 'BOO'? Well, it just gives me the warm fuzzies for a prosperous future.

School's out. Forever.

It's Etcetera, Not Exsedra!

Twice in the past week I've received e-mails from clients who misspelled the same word. "Don't pannick" and "Everyone must be in a panick" were the two spellings of 'panic' that I saw. This is one of those instances where you realize that there are far too many people in the world who don't read anymore. They know words, they've heard them, but they have no idea how to write them. Wookiee was saying that it works the other way around too; people read words that they use all the time, but don't realize what they're reading. He used the example of 'epitome', a word that so many people read but never connect to their speech. Regardless, if you don't even have the capacity to run a spell check on your correspondence...would sterilization be considered too extreme?

Butt Tossers

Honestly I'm happy with the BC Provincial Court ruling that convicted a smoker for starting the huge forest fire of 2003. (CBC article) Before smokers get violently defensive I should mention that I do partake in cigarette smoking when the mood suits me. However, as a rider and a human who cares about the environment in which we live, I have a problem with butt tossers. Even in the heart of Vancouver, in the summer, we get little wildfires burning in medians because of people tossing their still burning cigarette butts out of their hands while walking or out of their windows while driving. The fact is that this is dangerous for all flammable things in the vicinity. I never throw a butt out my window, unless it's raining, until I've put it out or let it go out, and if there's an ashtray available, I use that. If I'm standing about somewhere, after dropping my butt a quick crush'n'twist of the foot renders it safe garbage. It doesn't seem that difficult to do, but then, I actually think about the impact of my actions on others and my surroundings. Let's leave the whole risk of burning things down argument behind for a moment as that court ruling has hopefully made some smokers think twice about where they throw their smoldering embers. I'd like to address the issue of flying cigarette butts on the roadways. I'm speaking from the perspective of a rider, but it also effects anyone who walks, bikes, drives with a window open or has a convertible. When smokers throw their butts out the window while driving that damn piece of flaming garbage flies a good distance and is often in danger of, among other things, flying into someone else's vehicle or hitting people. Personally I ride in fear of one of those butts hitting my face, getting lodged in my helmet, or getting into the collar of my jacket. I have to use all four limbs to ride and if something like the above should happen there's almost nothing I could do to stop the ember from burning away at my flesh until I could find a way to safely pull over...presumably while screaming in agony and cursing the life of the tosser. I've been lucky so far, my friend Dave has not, but he paid the offender back in kind. A couple of summers ago Dave was riding along with his jacket half unzipped to allow some air flow when some asshole in an SUV threw a cigarette butt out his window. The butt landed right inside Dave's jacket and started to burn through his shirt, somehow (I don't know how he managed, but I'm eternally in awe of him for it) Dave managed to grab the butt with his clutch hand without losing control and crashing his motorcycle. With the butt firmly in hand he caught up to the offender's still open window and threw the still lit butt back into his vehicle. Dave kept on riding, hopefully teaching that guy a lesson, and watched in his mirror as the driver pulled over to deal with his own hazardous garbage. Dave was very lucky, like I said before, he could easily have a burn scar on his face instead of a great story of rider payback. Now whenever I'm following a smoker, I take note of their license plate so that if they cause me or my motorcycle any harm with their self-absorbed carelessness, I know who to report to the police. Trust me, there's little I hate more than being involved with law enforcement officials in any capacity, but for fuckers who throw burning garbage out their windows at those around them, I'm willing to go the extra mile.