Overheard In The Office #4

"I can't watch that movie."

"Why not?"

"I can't watch Tom Cruise movies because I'm distracted by his tooth. Every time I see him, all I can think is: tipped lateral incisor!"

Notes From Edmonton

Yep, I'm in Edmonton again. Monday and Tuesday I was in a strange little meeting room at the back of a Best Western parking lot in North Vancouver. Today and tomorrow I'm in several large meeting rooms at the Delta Edmonton South Hotel and Conference Centre. Basically, I'm in the midst of a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder marathon. And that's all I've got to say about that.

I walked up the street to grab a drink and pastry before the conference began this morning. I didn't put up my 'Do Not Disturb' door knob hanger and when I returned to the hotel I decided to grab something else from my room. When I entered the room there was nobody in it nor had it been cleaned or touched in any way. But there was a single green rubber glove inside the door. Curious.

On Monday I mentioned to Wookiee that I wondered what was going on with Castro - hadn't heard much of anything from that camp since his bro took over. This morning the Globe & Mail that was slid under my door had this front page:Ask and you shall receive!

When I got back to my room this afternoon, the cleaning staff had rearranged all my washroom things and laid them out on a towel. Also curious. More intriguing is the evidence, in depressed circles, that my in room glasses had been washed (read: rinsed) in the sink and left to dry on that towel. Ew. Those glasses might be dirtier now than when I left them. What if the last guest left them here just rinsed and now I'm using them? Gad!

The last time I was in town I stayed at the Fairmont. *gazing wistfully towards the Macdonald* No reused anything in that place!

Flying home on Friday - woo!

Letters from Edmonton

I spent the last few days in Alberta's capital for a Multigenerational Workplaces Forum. There was interactive polling with real time manipulation of data, guest speakers weighing in on Traditionalists, Baby Boomers, Generation Xs and Generation Ys in the workforce, recruitment and retention strategies, "Conversation Cafés" to get the brain juices flowing, and a whole lot of moderators.

Here's what I took home from the Forum:

-The Public Service will not be motivated to adjust the status quo by hiring true Gen X and Ys when they can hire people of Gen X/Y age who have Traditionalist and Baby Boomer values and attitudes.

-Edmonton is too cold, flat, and empty.

-And many quotes...


"Before the average was 2.5 children per family. Now it's 1.2 children. A full child and a coupe of legs running around."

"Powerful right? You hear a song, 'Ah yes, I remember that summer...' Or, as many Boomers remind us, 'We don't remember that summer.'"

"People are not like rocks."

"These generations don't respect people in their positions unless it is earned. Just because you exist, it doesn't make you competent."

"It's the 'Bums In The Seats Principle' - if I can't see you, you're not working."

"And this is what we call being professional? All dress in the same suits, don't show too much emotion, don't use too many adjectives..."

"Boomers are about 'Sex, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll', and Xs are about the fear of sex, drugs and rock and roll."

"You can get this free encryption service. Now, this is basic encryption: the CIA can break it, the RCMP can ask the CIA to break it..."

Too Many Idiots

I know I harp on stuff like this a lot, but it's just too disgusting!

At the day job I'm collecting data on the children and youth programs we are running in some communities in British Columbia. One thing we ask for is a list of staff positions on site and their qualifications.

One of these reports has the Early Childhood Educator attempting to tell us that they have two Educators and a Program Coordinator. This person listed them as such:

Program Coordinator

Eductor

Educdtor

And they also failed to list the qualifications. Well, these Educators are clearly not qualified!

Seriously, Eductor and Educdtor?? What the fraking hell is an EDUCDTOR??

Overheard In The Office #3

Incorrect use of the word "dramatic" on one side of a phone conversation to a roommate.

"Stinky [the cat] ate some plastic?"
...
"Oh, he's just being all dramatical."
...
"Well, you better get him food or he's going to be all dramatical until we get home!"

Threw, Through, Throw

I just opened a piece of mail. It was an anonymous complaint letter from one of our communities. In it, the self-described Early Childhood Educator who has been working with children for ten years, repeatedly used 'threw' when she meant to use 'through'. These were minor errors among other glaring offences to English.

I put it away to stop my head from involuntary shaking it's sad back and forth and opened an e-mail I received from a co-worker about some broken glass on my floor. He suggested that "we through the glass out" when the movers arrive.

I want to throw them both off the payroll.


`

Two Sad Displays

I got an e-mail from one of my superiors at my old office the other day. The e-mail included this gem from the recesses of her brain; "'To be crazy or not to be crazy, that is the question' or am I misquoting again?" Yes, you are misquoting again, for crying out loud.

This morning I was telling my co-worker about this fascinating, albeit extremely long, article I was reading in the Globe and Mail about federal Liberal party leader hopeful Michael Ignatieff. She suddenly looked confused and asked, "He's not our Prime Minister is he?" "No." I replied, "The Liberal party doesn't have an official leader right now, he's one of the top contenders vying for the job." She then laughs, "Whew! I wasn't sure! I mean, I don't follow news and politics very much, but I was pretty sure he wasn't the Prime Minister!"

Yikes, one can't remember one of Shakespeare's most oft quoted lines, and the other doesn't even know who the head of the country is, not to mention that the current PM is a Conservative, not a Liberal. People never cease to amaze and disappoint me.

Actually, It's You, Not Me

I work for the Federal Government of Canada, and one of the peripheral expectations of the job is to be aware of current world events, whether they be related to local social policy or conflict abroad. However even if not employed by some level of government or political science department, I would expect my fellow humans to have some knowledge of these issues - or at least be interested to know. Sadly, it was once again demonstrated to me that most people are idiots.

I was talking to two of my co-workers upon my return from New York the other day. They asked me how my trip went and I was trying to think of work appropriate anecdotes.

"Actually, on the ferry ride back to Manhattan from Randall's Island the second night, I met a few guys from Arizona." They nodded as I continued, "The day before, they had been sitting in the window of some cafe when Kofi Annan, his wife, and two bodyguards walked by on the sidewalk!"

I finished the story with my eyes wide with excitement, anticipating their reactions. Instead, they both looked blankly at me.

"Isn't that cool?" I continued, trying to read their faces, "It would have been so neat to see him just walking down the streets of New York."

More stares of confusion greet me. I think I see the problem here. "You know Kofi Annan right?"

"Ahh...no..." One of them said, "Is he in a band or an actor or something?"

"What?? No. Kofi Annan! The UN Secretary General? The dude who's like, head of the UN? Been all over the news for months? You know?? Kofi Annan??" I sputtered incredulously.

They just shrugged their shoulders, still lost in this unfamiliar data. Then they laughed. At me. Because they thought it was funny that I would find some 'nobody' that they had never heard of before as interesting or cool.

*groan*

This moronic display was too pathetic for me to laugh at (even if only in my head). I only felt pity, for them, me, and the planet. I just smiled, relayed some fake understanding and compassion, thought briefly of what it might be like to live as they do, then walked away with an internal head shake. What else can you do with someone who would rather ridicule you than learn a little something about the world?

It's Etcetera, Not Exsedra!

Twice in the past week I've received e-mails from clients who misspelled the same word. "Don't pannick" and "Everyone must be in a panick" were the two spellings of 'panic' that I saw. This is one of those instances where you realize that there are far too many people in the world who don't read anymore. They know words, they've heard them, but they have no idea how to write them. Wookiee was saying that it works the other way around too; people read words that they use all the time, but don't realize what they're reading. He used the example of 'epitome', a word that so many people read but never connect to their speech. Regardless, if you don't even have the capacity to run a spell check on your correspondence...would sterilization be considered too extreme?