Bert

The other day I was thinking, that if I was ever forced to write Wookiee an e-mail, letter, note, etc. under duress, I would want some way of covertly letting him know that something was up. This is assuming I was allowed to write but under the condition that my writing be subject to censorship...so I'd want it to appear totally "yeah, everything is great how are you" while still coding a message to him. The first thing I thought was that I would misspell his nick as like "Wookkie" or something like that because I figured he would know (pursuant to earlier wookiee spelling sessions) that something was amiss. But that was just the first thing that came to mind. Maybe we should come up with a code phrase and word that means help, danger or something...like how Chandler and Joey have "Bert". I want to have some kind of code like that, but one that is less blatant. I think a phone conversation would be harder. So we'd need some kind of discreet phrase that suits any situation or conversation that can be slipped in as a secret message without seeming out of place. I'll have to ask Wookiee for ideas, anybody else got one?

On an aside, because of Wook's name, I'm always writing cookie with an extra 'e'. Cookiee. Damn Wookiee. No, damn brain.

Random Lyric #1

there is no such thing as death,
life is only a dream,
and we are the imagination of ourselves.

-Unknown song heard on WFMU

01/09/67

Today is Dave Matthews' 39th birthday! That's all I had to say, just an announcement...and an excuse to look at pictures of him.

Cuba: Intro & Day One

People keep asking if I had fun in Cuba. It's hard to explain exactly what it was like for me. I've been calling it an interesting experience. It was fascinating, beautiful, exhausting, but not exactly the time of my life. I did all my research and reading before departure, but it was still not at all what I expected. It was much harder than I thought to travel as a woman alone there, and my lack of Spanish skills didn't make it any easier. It was one of those countries where every other block I was inundated with kissing noises, 'Hey baby', 'Hey lady', 'Listen to me!', etc. Everyone is really poor, so they treat all tourists like rich people, which of course, relatively, I was. This means that some guy would fall into step with me, start a conversation, something pleasant like, where are you from?, do you like my country?, how long are you here?. Then it goes one of a few ways, they'll ask where you're staying - this would always lead to them trying to get me to stay at one of their recommended houses. Another question would be, Where are you going? Innocent enough, but I learned at this point to not tell them, and just let them know that I didn't need help, because they would want to walk with me, point at a couple of buildings, or try and show me how to get to my destination, then ask for money when we got there. Another approach I got, usually from the Rastas, was do you like music? Which was followed by, I play in a band, or have a friend or roommate who plays in a band, and then there would be a invite to go to his house, go for a drink, go somewhere sketchy with him and his friends for a 'good time'. I mean, these guys were persistent, but only one became a little alarmingly aggressive. It wasn't even that they were trying so hard to get money that bothered me, it was the fact that I couldn't just meet and chat with any locals. I hated having to get rude with some of them. It was disappointing to have my real brushes with locals so greatly diminished. Of course, I can blame a lot of that on myself for not finding time to learn Spanish before arriving. This was really the only bad thing I can say about the whole trip, it's just because it was so constant, every moment I was out on the streets, that it made my exploration difficult. I could never stop moving, or risk being hassled by another tout, so I didn't even get to take as many pictures as I would have liked to. At least I have it all in my head. But I don't want to dwell on that! Because, well, it was actually incredible, I mean, so often I would silently exclaim to myself, I'm in Cuba! or I'm on a bus to Santiago de Cuba! And be just in awe of the whole thing. I've been back for nearly a week, and I still haven't had time to look at my pictures, so I have nothing to post yet. I'll get to it soon (although school starts this week), and then maybe add one later to this post. The basic outline of the journey was; arrive in Havana, leave by overnight bus (12 hrs.) the next night to Santiago de Cuba, stay there for two nights, take another overnight bus (16 hrs.) back to Havana, spend three nights there before returning home.

Day One

I arrived at the tiny Jose Marti airport in the early afternoon and made my way through customs. The customs officer didn't speak English, it was a sign of things to come. After I was cleared through, she buzzed me through a door, and on the other side you had to go through a security check. In order to leave the airport, you have to go through the whole x-ray and metal detector rigmarole. The couple in front of me was having trouble getting through because they had a piece of computer equipment (which she was saying was for personal use) that the security guards wanted to confiscate. Four guards were so busy with them, that I just walked through, picked up my bag and left, I don't even think anyone looked at the screen as my pack went through the machine. Now I was through to another dimly lit room, where deafening old carousels were displaying baggage, I had none checked, so I went directly to line up for currency. Then I noticed that many people were smoking. This is when I learned that you can smoke anywhere in Cuba, even in the international airport! Well, that meant I had to smoke while I was there, the rules were even better than Vegas! (For those who don't know, I was a smoker for about 10 years, when I moved back to BC, to the land of expensive smokes and awesome pot, from Ontario, I stopped smoking at started getting stoned again. I still have a cigarette from time to time, but generally only smoke when in America, or now, when in Cuba.) I got to the front of the line at the currency exchange and was told that I could only cash traveller's cheques in the city. Luckily I had a little airport food cash ($25) on me, which got me 19 convertible pesos. I knew it cost about $20 to get into town, so I was a little worried. I couldn't believe the system, if I couldn't change my cheques at the airport, how did they expect me to get to the city to change them? When I got a taxi, I told them I only had $19, and they said okay. Whew. It's about a half hour ride into Havana from the airport through rural land and city outskirts. The roads were packed with cars ranging from the classic 1950s American cars, to brand new European models, along side scooters, motorcycles, oxen and horse drawn carts. People were lining the roads hitchhiking to their destinations. Billboards touting the revolution and its heroes greeted traffic. My visit coincided with the 47th anniversary of the triumph of the revolution.
I discovered I was able to read most signs fairly well in Spanish, I just couldn't speak it or understand it with any skill. As we were entering the city, The Way You Look Tonight came on the radio in the taxi, I don't know why, but the driver and I ended up singing it together. The whole situation was surreal. I was staying in Casa Particulaires for this trip, they're private homes licensed by the government to rent out spare rooms to people. So I got to stay in the homes of locals and eat breakfast with them, a very cool experience. The Casa I stayed at in Havana had a custom built apartment on the roof for guests. It had two bedrooms with private baths, a kitchen, a covered patio and a sprawling uncovered patio - all on the roof of the building at about 5-6 floors up. It was located in Vieja (the old city) on a tiny street called Cristo. I spent the rest of my first day just wandering around the area, getting accustomed to the city. That night I met my roofmates, two young fellas from Ireland, and we went out for dinner and a drink. This would prove to be one of the last times I'd have an easy and spirited conversation for the next week. I was asleep by 1 a.m., didn't unpack anything, and was ready to leave in the morning.
The front doors of my Casa at No. 16 Calle Cristo.

Cristo Street from the balcony of the main living floor of my Casa.

My cell phone service in Cuba was provided by CU C_COM.

The view between drying laundry on the roof of the my Casa.


There are little dogs everywhere.

A little produce shop.


The Malecon, including my pack and foot.

An old motorcycle in front of a park in Vedado.

A tile in the courtyard of the Hotel Nacional de Cuba.

Urban volleyball, a block from my Casa.

Bonus Fried Dumpling Pictures

The menu.


The production of the dumplings.


A couple of dumplings left on my plate.

NYC Food Tour Part 2

A narrow little Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. The menu said 'Restaurant & Bocce', as there is a bocce playing area along the length of the tables. I watched a few games as I ate my garlic chicken and artichokes.



Touristy, I know, but I was curious about this famous Serendipity 3 place. The frozen hot chocolate thing I had was good, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. I did enjoy the decoration though!

The last place I have a picture for is the Cranberry II. One of those New York prepared food places. It's right next door to my hostel, so it's really handy for all kinds of things, plus it's a super short distance to go to grab beer for the patio. (It's the last set of brighter lights on the right, to the left of that, where the red and white banner hangs, is my hostel.)

NYC Series Two Pictures: The Food Tour

One of the ladies at this tiny closet of a dumpling house. Cheap and delicious fried dumplings are basically all they serve.

The Economy Candy Store on the LES. One giant room filled to the brim with candy from around the world.

Where I went for soul food in Harlem.


Big Nick's on the Upper West Side. A very cramped place serving everything you could possibly want to eat on the cheap. I like to eat breakfast here before walking a few blocks east to the American Museum of Natural History.

Tiny Italian restaurant on the edge of Little Italy. My server (centre, scratching her arm) was the same one I had when I was here in July. Not that surprising in such a small space I guess.

The Word

Wookiee and I finally remembered the word that he always used to describe the Dave Matthews Band. He thinks that they're too virtuoso.

The Dictionary.com link is up there, but it defines virtuoso as; 1)A musician with masterly ability, technique, or personal style. 2)A person with masterly skill or technique in the arts. 3)A person with a strong interest in the fine arts, especially in antiquities. 4)Archaic. A very learned person.

When Wook first told me this, and used it as a kind of insult, I was puzzled for nearly a year. I thought about it on and off for months, wondering what he meant. I mean, it seems like being virtuoso would be a good thing for a band to be, why was he using it as a negative? I always meant to ask him about it, but of course, being always stoned, I would never remember to ask when I was talking to him, and so the question languished in the back of my brain. By the time I asked him in this post, we had both forgotten the word. Months later, I finally remembered it and got the answer I was looking for from him.

Wookiee said that in his opinion they do more than they should when it comes to their jams. Which for fans is of course the best part of the live show and highlights the fundamental difference in our musical enjoyment of Dave (This is why I hope to make enough money this year to take him to Gorge this summer. I'd like him to experience the music live and see if it changes his mind.). Anyway, Wookiee tends to believe that with the jams, less is more. To which I say, that really, only more is more.

Congratulations Wookiee!

While I was away last week, Wookiee proposed to his girlfriend and they're planning to get married later this year! I don't have much to say about it other than yay! I'm sure they will continue to be enormously happy together until long after I've shuffled off this mortal coil . He's all grown up and a real adult now, and I'm still cheerfully keeping the light on at the No Responsibility Dorm. Wook, I forgot to ask you if she ended up being surprised or not when you asked. Also, you know how I like to organize shit, so if you guys need help with anything, let me know!

Random Quote #2

Wookiee, on eating mushrooms in the snow, "It's going to be a true Canadian psychedelic experience."

Foiled!

First the good news. I was told by my boss yesterday afternoon that they want me to keep coming in to work and that they would find some way to pay me until the HR glitch is fixed. This could take anywhere from two weeks to two months, so I hope they 'find some way' to pay me until then. Okay, so last night when I got home I started to unpack my bag and clean some stuff up in my place so that I could upload pictures, blog, do some online banking, etc. I was enjoying some music and on a cleaning roll when, bink, the power went out. I live in a fairly wooded area and the having the power go out is nothing unusual. Often it comes back on just as I've finally felt my way through the dark to the oil lamps and lit a match to get them going. So last night I waited in the dark for a few minutes before going to light lamps and candles, but the power stayed out. My dad had taken my car and I didn't have a battery operated radio so I had no idea what was happening or how long it would last. I didn't want to ride my motorcycle somewhere either because with the power off, so was the alarm. An unidentified woman broke into my house twice this year (a long story I won't get into here) so I didn't want to leave the place undefended. Instead I reclined on the couch in the kitchen and listened for signs of an intruder. The house started to get cold, but maybe it wasn't as cold as I thought because of my acclimatization to Cuban weather. It's amazing how little there is to do at night when you don't have electricity. The lamp lighting was too dim to do any reading, and I was pretty tired anyway, so I just gave up hope of the power coming back on and went to bed. When I woke up this morning everything was back online, so I hope that tonight, I will finally be able to see if I took any decent pictures in Cuba. Either that or you'll likely find me at the Canadian Tire buying a generator.

Back In The Wet

I got home at about 11:30 last night and I was back to work again this morning at 7:00, so as you can imagine, it'll be a little while until I get a post up about Cuba. I'm definitely looking forward to uploading my pictures tonight. It was raining when I got home, and it made me so happy! I think I had my fill of hot, humid, sweaty grime over the past week - although I am liking my tan. In other news, my boss just came in this morning and told me that there was a little glitch with my contract extension while I was away. Right now it's looking like I'll be sent home and I have no idea when I'll have a job again. Perfect timing. I just spent a few grand last month doing the New York and Cuba thing. Yeesh. Well, the good news is, if I'm unemployed for a little while I can concentrate on school, which starts up again next week, and maybe even post like a devil blogger...whatever that means.

Off The Grid

Well, I'm off to Cuba now! I'm going from Havana to Santiago de Cuba and back, returning home in the New Year. January 1st is Triunfo de la Revolución (Liberation Day) in Cuba, so I expect that New Year's is going to be quite the experience. It's my first visit, I'm going alone, and I don't really speak Spanish anymore...so I'm excited but a little nervous. It's going to be amazing. ¡Adiós todos, le ven en el Año Nuevo!

The List

Back in the late 90s, Louis moved into my place in Waterloo, Ontario. We're both psychotic, so inexplicable insanity was always on display at the apartment. We were constantly laughing at things until we were crying, choking, in pain, stamping our feet, and unable to function at all. Eventually we decided to post a piece of paper in the kitchen where we could write down the things that we laughed at. We kept taping new pieces of paper onto it until Louis moved to Montreal and the tradition was halted. We ended up just short of a hundred items on the list, and it is now known as The 98 Things Spage & Louis Laughed At In Waterloo. The original includes pictures and accents to words, I still have it in a box somewhere, saved for future framing. There's probably nothing on it that makes any sense to anyone but Lou & I, but if you want to ask about any of them, I'd be more than happy to give you the attached story. Without further ado, I present,

The 98 Things Spage & Louis Laughed At In Waterloo

1. "I want to jump in a lake!"

2. Penny stairs

3. "Check the O.R., you like it so far?"

4. Dancing the Nutcracker Ballet

5. The cat must think we're insane

6. We want to hang things around the cat's neck

7. "Yes I dooo..."

8. The Face

9. "Now my pudding is trapped forever!"

10. Hiding the angel

11. Peeking at the foreign people

12. Running with laundry

13. "Quesadilla requires pita!"

14. The Love Connection Dance

15. The can of Meestory!

16. Svetlana

17. Fig-it

18. "You must build me a theatre, you must come everyday and you will be paid very well. Everyday you must come visit me, and we will have conversations about many things."

19. Transexual Pea

20. Looking for bodywash

21. Wrong hour

22. "Do you want to see my impression of a chow chow?"

23. Stretching while touching elbow

24. Exploding Twizzlers

25. Soft Strong

26. Sticky Goo

27. Bpppppt

28. Anti-Freeze

29. "I don't like you oh my god."

30. 42 in a row

31. Atzpee

32. Some kind of War

33. Puking Head

34. Yes/No

35. Delusional Clam

36. Woody Game

37. Wax?

38. Discount Cat Coupons

39. Natural Phenomenon

40. Hm: The Many Definitions

41. "But you can't write with sounds."

42. De-salinization of tears

43. "Wa wah wawawawawa waaaah!"

44. Gigantic Surprise

45. Chinese Rabbit Hair

46. Flush a brush

47. Showcase Teddy Bear

48. "The calendar is on the TV because it rained."

49. "Oh my gawd! It snowed so much! Do you know what this means?"

50. "Madonna was married to Sean Penn??"

51. Grapes

52. Watches, Igloos & General Insanity

53. "Must be Santa..."

54. Butt Chasing

55. "Why don't I just buy duck?"

56. "Who cares?! You're going to be wearing a coconut brassiere!"

57. "Y'know the little Starbucks kwt?!"

58. "So, we're not getting up until 1?"
"No, noon!"
"Oh no! That means I can't go to the washroom!"

59. "...my language."
"Your language!"
"My language!!"
sub-clause: simple and sexy

60. "We should gas some people."

61. Demonstration of floor space

62. "Are you ready?"
"Oh no!!"
"New pack? Wait! I want to see the ceremonial opening! Oh! Now we have to go to the garbage can!"

63. Misunderstanding the pee conversation

64. "Ryan Raymond Richdale...sounds like a BBQ sauce."

65. "Hi! It's me, are you there?"

66. Maniacal pee ("How does one pee like a maniac?!")

67. Cat buttcheeks

68. "Hey you guys, this thing is FREE!!"

69. *laughing* "He could say anything!"
"Yeah, he could say; 'There's pus coming out of my ear!'"

70. Mickey Mouxe - not Mouxe Mouse

71. lalalalala la blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah yeeeeeee! foo nah!

72. *singing* "No it doesn't" "It totally does"

73. Happy Feet

74. Falling off the Truck of Knowledge

75. The Egg Cup who couldn't speak

76. "Oh my god! Branjeet called?!?"

77. "I know what you're doing!"

78. "What do you mean 'That's like me'?? Oh...you mean 'That's like me'."

79. "Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! You should go to war!"

80. "We need groceries dude."

81. "We're going to have a toilet paper crisis soon."
"When?"

82. The Giant Cookie (and how to get it into one's apt.)

83. "Ha ha ha ha!"
"No! Not that!"
"No, I was thinking about something completely different."

84. Liquid shit

85. Waking up to uteran flesh

86. "Is it a catalogue?"
"Yes, it's a catalogue, 'Here's some things you might like to buy - Merry Christmas!'"

87. for me, for you

88. "For your schedule next week; when do you know?"

89. "Yes, we are getting waves on the sides."

90. "Remember, when you're in New York, and someone hands you a pill
and says 'Swallow this!', what do you do?"

91. "The drug dealers are so crafty!" (As in Arts & Crafts)

92. "Shoe" Status

93. "I'm not yet sexually attracted to my video game character."

94. "Who would ever know that's a fireplace?"
"The little green elves that say 'Ma'!"

95. (During Halloween Bowl Toss) "That's why I can't throw knives."

96. (During Halloween Bowl Toss) "You look like you're in the trenches."
"I am!"

97. "We're not supposed to take pictures of these games, because then
there's evidence that they exist."

98. "What the hell was that?!"

Atheist Christmas Digression

Wookiee and I were talking the other day about religious labels. I was being subjected to Karaoke Xmas Carols at work for a manager sponsored 'party'. I was on the phone with Wookiee and commented that I refused to sing praise to God. Carol after carol came on talking about the faithful, adoring Him, worship, Jesus, and all that shit. I mean, I won't even sing the God line in my own National Anthem ("God keep our land"), I just join back in at "glorious and free". Now to be fair, ChristMass is mostly all about that religious stuff (except to me it's just the commercialism side), so people should take part in whatever they want, I'm not condemning it, I just don't take part. Anyway, we got on a tangent about how we define ourselves in this respect. Wookiee said that we are, of course, atheists. I agreed, but pointed out that it's not quite accurate, for example, our after death beliefs, while not identical, are more complex than a single currently accepted word can define. I don't like to use the term "other", because I do find it necessary to make it clear that this is a No God Zone. So I suggested a modification of terminology that will be my new answer for those who ask where my spiritual tendencies lie - I think, that Wookiee and I, are Atheist Plus.