Spage World Tour

My world tour began yesterday morning with a 4 a.m. wake-up call. Being in the throes of the flu made it rather difficult to get motivated, but I wasn't going to let anything stop me from going on this trip.

I'm at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale right now, waiting for a bus to transport a big group of guests to the giant Princess ship waiting at the dock. Yep, I'm going on a cruise. My grandma, aunt, and uncle are taking me on a one week Caribbean cruise. We're hitting Jamaica, the Caymans, the Yucatan, and some island in the Bahamas.

What makes this a world tour? Well, the day after we get back to Vancouver, I'll be back at the airport. I'll be flying to London and then taking a train to Paris, Frankfurt, Brussels, and Amsterdam for four Dave Matthews solo shows. That's four concerts in four countries in five days - oh my!

I have no idea how much I'll be able to blog as I go because I have to use the Princess computers for this leg and I'm not even sure if my laptop will make it to Europe, but I'm going to do my best!

-Picture is over the top of my lap top right now, my uncle across the table, and the hotel dining room beyond-

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Elevator Flyer

He's Firm On That

Regarding portion sizes in the new Canada Food Guide, Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, medical director of the Bariatric Medical Institute, says that "...anybody following the food guide almost certainly will likely gain weight."

So Dr. Freedhoff, by following the food guide you are nearly sure that there may be a chance that some people might gain weight. I'm pretty sure that comment would be just as accurate if he was talking about a comet passing through the galaxy, or a zebra crapping on the Serengeti instead of following the food guide, so I don't think we should be too concerned about it.

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Ah, Hipocrisy

One year ago, not one week after winning a seat in the Federal election, a local Liberal MP named David Emerson crossed the floor and joined the Conservatives in exchange for a plum cabinet appointment - including being responsible for our fucking Olympics. And that wasn't enough because Emerson then made it clear he didn't give a shit what his constituents thought and proceeded to insult them. Outrage was had by all, and there are still many people in his riding actively protesting his defection.

In parliament, there were echos of our discontent, calls for a by-election, criticism of the Prime Minister who the previous year had cried foul over one of his Conservative MPs crossing the floor to the Liberals, and general foaming at the mouth. Conservative MP Garth Turner "said then that anyone who crosses the floor should step down and run in a by-election". It was this kind of party criticism that got Turner kicked out of the Conservative caucus last fall.

So what? Well, at 5 p.m. ET today it will be officially announced that Garth Turner, who is now an Independent MP, will be crossing the floor and joining the Liberal Party. (article)

*sigh*

Maybe parliament is going to follow the Survivor route on this one. Osten is to Survivor as Belinda is to the House of Commons? It seems to me that if all of this floor crossing becomes the norm, then couldn't all MPs just run for the party that is showing the strongest in the polls and then jump ship to their preferred team after being elected? Seems pretty effective, and nobody seems to mind all that much. Man, I hate politics. Okay, I love it. But only because I hate it. I'm here to rally the peeps, if you don't like what's going on, you gotta make it known. If you don't know what's going on, well, that's a bigger problem than rogue MPs.

"And remember one thing: No matter who we elect into office, the people you elect, the people I elect, you have the fucking power, we are the fucking leaders: don't let these bastards dictate your life or try to tell you what to do, alright!" -Billie Joe Armstrong (Bullet In A Bible)

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One Month & One Week

The title refers to how long I've been unemployed. But I'm back baby! Let's kick off my return to the Federal Government with a little morning blogging!

It's funny that this new story came out today about how there are apparently a lot of kids (ages 10-17) who are being unwillingly exposed to pornographic images online. Funny because Wook and I were recently talking about how in the last few years you rarely ever come across unwanted porn online anymore. In fact, sitting here now, I can't even remember the last time I got some HOT4U pop up or anything like that.

This particular article is about a survey conducted by the University of New Hampshire. They say that 42% of the 1,500 Internet users they asked saw some form of human nudity online in the past 12 months, and of that group, 66% said that they had not sought it out.

Of course these phone interviews took place with the permission of a parent (who might have been near the young person being asked the questions). So how many teens do you think sat in front of their parents and admitted that they had searched for the porn they were 'exposed' to. How many do you think cried innocent? Yeah. Exactly.

Even if sitting alone to answer the poll, self-reporting is notoriously unreliable because people are inclined to try and give an answer that the questioner is looking for, or they just want to lie for personal reasons.

Oh well, at the very least, you have to love the alarmist cry in the name of kids. What does Rev. Lovejoy's wife always wail on The Simpsons? "Won't anyone please think of the children?!" Several paragraphs are devoted to how accidentally viewing porn is so traumatic for teenagers - and sums up with "Still, many survey participants said they were not disturbed by what they saw". Of course.

But really, my point is, based on how during what I would call my many hours every week of 'normal' Internet use I never stumble across surprise porn, I hardly believe that this is headline newsworthy. It just seems like another attention getting issue of the moment based in hearsay. Another attempt to change something about the world the adults don't like by using the guise of protecting children. Or is my Internet experience not at all what others encounter? Or am I wrong to think that a 16 year old has probably seen a naked boobie before? And if by 17 still hasn't, just might do a little online search?

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Navigator

We're driving, we're stoned, we can't remember (as usual) which street Chalet Swiss is on. My passenger is no help at all.

"Braemar! What street is it on?"

"Fa-nu-nuh..."


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An Earful

This one is an oldie but a goodie.

I was house-sitting for my aunt awhile ago and Braemar and I were looking for music to play while we shot some pool. We discovered the stereo system and a stack of CDs that we were not interested in.

Here's what I mean.

These are the titles of the last three discs we found, in order of stackage;

Jazz For When You're Alone,
Songs of the Sea, and
Here's Liberace


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Too Creepy

I didn't have a category for this picture but I had to share it because, well, it's so very creepy.


This shot was a result of me playing around with the colour swap feature on my camera.

Halloween

"Your pumpkin fell over."

"What pumpkin?"

"That pumpkin."

"Oh! Thank you! That's my Sponge Pumpkin."

"You have something called a Sponge Pumpkin?"

"I have 6! I also have 2 Sponge Bats!"

-Wookiee & Spage


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Ah Canada

It's funny, the things you come across and realize are quintessentially Canadian. I guess I've just spent enough time with Americans explaining that we don't generally refer to 'beanies' as 'snow caps' north of the 49th parallel.

I was just perusing the North Shore Rescue website which includes a list of ten essential items you should pack if you venture into the wilds. One piece of gear they recommend is a warm hat because so much body heat is lost through the head. Then it says;

"Remember the saying 'If your feet get cold put your toque on'."

I'll bet no ones' mom told 'em that in the States.


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Contract Work: Glory & Consequence

I'm unemployed. I've been trapped in a small room for three weeks. I'm not in prison, I'm renovating. I'm going a little bit crazy. I'm beginning to understand what Billy Corgan was evoking when he wailed "I'm still just a rat in a cage!"


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Ready For My Close-Up

I just uploaded some starter pics to a new photo set on my Flickr site entitled Life In Macro. If you like them, check back from time to time as I continue to add images from this perspective. I also added a link to my Flickr sets on the left panel under the blog title and my e-mail address for ease of linkage.

Magnetic Poetry #5

I ask to explore eternitys
brilliant smoke for a vision

as if seeing liquid beauty
dancing like

he did above the velvet
sea through the

dazzling rhythm haunted
like perfumed drink

worship is no magic for me

be my they after it flys
by on fresh

petals use and do him
let her shine

my sky was sacred and
yet so is his

we chant at a she

a runer of am & ly y ly

Take Offense?

Today, as an insult, I was accused of being jealous of Shakespeare.

Jealous of Shakespeare?

I can't even begin to express how untrue this comment is...and it was hardly irksome - only confusing.

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Announcement

Working in government means that over time people greet the announcement of ministerial spending with a degree of cynicism. Whether it's because of previous experience with funding being pulled after it's been committed, the short-sightedness of a funding plan, or some other snafu, people tend to react with less than whole-hearted joy when these press releases occur.

Yesterday our Director announced that one of our programs that was slated to end next year has been renewed for two more years with several hundred million dollars in funding - $526 million to be exact.

This news was greeted with pointed questions and skeptical comments, and the Director cried out, "Okay guys, enjoy the moment! Don't go to your agitated place right away!"

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