Random Quote #4

I once worked with this guy named Will. He was the delivery driver at a plant nursery and I worked in the office so I didn't see him that often during the day. It was a shitty, shitty workplace, and he was a fucking fantastic person to spend a little time with during the day as he never failed to make Jay and I laugh at something crazy he'd do or say. Plus, Will and I would often smoke a couple of bowls after work, which was a nice way to erase the memory of the toxic work environment.

Will, being a guy, liked to comment on the lovely ladies who came to buy plants.One day an older regular customer he often mentioned came in to the nursery and Will popped his head in the door to say that she was here. I sauntered over to the window to see who had caught his interest. She was pretty far away and had her back turned to me, so Will commented on the quality of her ass, which appeared okay to me. As I went back to my desk, Will said, "Man, she's a total GILF." I was so incredulous that I had to confirm the statement, "You mean, grandma you'd like to fuck?" Will just looked at me with a matter-of-fact innocent and confused face, and earnestly said, "Yeah." Jay and I just burst out laughing. That was the first, and so far, the last time I ever heard anyone use the term GILF.

Wrong Time For A Bad Move

Last night on my drive home, I had to take a right turn at the bottom of a long hill quickly because the light was changing. When I got to the corner, I noticed several women lighting candles and placing flowers among some plants just beyond the sidewalk. I surmised that there had been some kind of accident and someone they knew was killed at that corner. I was so distracted by them that I undercut the corner and drove over the edge of the sidewalk. That couldn't have been good for their nerves.

Cuba: Modes Of Transportation

Overheard At The Saratoga Springs Post Office

June 16, 2006 13:15

I was standing in line to buy stamps when a man on a cell phone joined the queue behind me.

"Yeah, uh huh. I'm supposed to see another psychiatrist to discuss things that I can't with you out of respect for our friendship."

He stops to listen to his friend talk and I wonder what he won't talk about. My turn comes up to and I walk up to the counter. During the ordering process I lose track of the conversation but catch it again when he comes up to the wicket next to me.

"Yeah. I really want to see this new psychologist so that I can finally talk about rape."

!!! What?? Do people on cell phones think that they are in a cone of silence? And if that isn't the thing he won't discuss out of 'respect for their friendship', then what is?? And yes, he did refer to his confidante as both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. At this point my transaction is done and I walk out the door wondering what the hell is going on in that little man's life. Literally. He was shorter than me.

Welcome To SPAC

Well, it's official; SPAC rocks. That's the Saratoga Performing Arts Center for the uninitiated. This is definitely one of the best venues I've ever been to. It's beautiful, the grounds are great for concerting, they offer free water, hand wipes, and also pop for designated drivers. Plus you get to take a globe light lit bridge over a small river and waterfall buried in trees to get to the venue. I took a stroll through SPAC the day before the first concert while the local crews were readying it and took a bunch of pictures. Late that night after I picked up Brian in Albany we went again to check it out at night and roamed around. I couldn't resist and jumped up on the stage - then we heard a noise and fled from the potential security guard. As we were sneaking back out (not that I'm even sure if we weren't supposed to be there), we stumbled across the DMB crew trucks. They were all parked next to the venue with the engines running to keep the crew cool in their air-conditioned cabs.

The shows were also phenomenal. The energy was high and the songs unbelievable. I only took one picture when I took my camera in for the second show because I had a wicked seat in the front row of my section - which meant that security was constantly roaming by. Although I loved how the local crew there was so vigilant about keeping people out of the aisles - I'd definitely appreciate more of that kind of security at places like Gorge.

Saratoga Springs itself is a pretty little town that reminds me of Scottsdale with trees. Brian and I didn't walk around the town too much. Between chilling with fellow fans, the concerts themselves, sleeping, and tracking down Internet access (not to mention the intense heat), there just isn't that much time for sight seeing. We did find a great little used book store where I picked up three books in Russian. When I went up to pay for them, the owner told me that the books I had picked out were sold to her by a widow of a CIA agent who was killed in action. They were his books. They feel different in my hands since she told me that.

We also found an awesome barbecue hut/stand/restaurant/drive-in type place near our hotel. It's one of those places with a charcoal pit out back where they cook and when your food is ready they announce over the speakers which window to pick up your order, and have names like the Fats Domino window.

This trip has been unbelievably excellent. Everything has been cool, interesting, fun, you name it. I have more pictures and stories to post soon. I'm actually sitting in the parking lot of a hotel near the airport in Toronto where I was able to pick up a free wireless connection. I drove Brian to the airport in Albany this morning and then headed back North and West. The drive was supposed to take 7 hours plus stopping time and border crossing, so I had it all planned out to get back to the airport at about 9 p.m. to return the car and catch my flight. Well, I got back to Toronto in 6 hours flat and now have several hours to kill before flying home. At least I know for next year (oh yes, I plan on going back to SPAC next year) that I don't have to worry about leaving so damn early...not that 11:30 a.m. is really considered early outside of the tour world.

Let's see if I can post any pictures yet - nope, damn upload issues.

Post Show Darien Lake

It's quarter to five in the morning and I can't sleep. Why am I not tired? I froze my ass off trying to sleep in the car last night and barely got 40 minutes of sleep. When dawn broke, I decided to give up sleeping and just start driving. Halfway to Saratoga I started to fall asleep at the wheel, so I drove into this nowhere village in the middle of the Adirondacks, found an abandoned building to park behind, and napped for an hour in the car out of sight from the road. And now it's dawn again, and I haven't slept. Why can't I ever sleep without getting fucking crazy stoned??

Last night's show at Darien was amazing. The energy was immeasurable. Chair banging at the encore break! I haven't been to a venue where that's happened since Gorge back in maybe 2001. Such thunderous jubilance! What I didn't like where the people banging chairs and making a racket during Sister. Don't get me wrong, I love the chair banging. I missed it! It's been years! I like it during the encore break, and it's even kind of passable in between songs, but it is never never NEVER okay to make that kind of sonic barrier shattering noise during a song. Never. That is one absolute I will definitely stick to for the foreseeable future. Matisyahu opened with another fabulous set. He also came out and did some improvised rap and singing in the Everyday/36 jam - and he was stellar. Joy Ride! I've missed that one too, it's been two years since being treated to that one live. Other than the show, getting to the venue was pretty cool. Campers get to go through their own entrance to the amusement park after hours and we walked through the deserted park to get to the amphitheatre. It was eerie. Most of the lights on the rides were still flickering away, one ride was playing bluesy music, and birds were everywhere. I guess after the park empties out it's guests and employees, the animals are free to take over. Canada geese and their young, and countless other species I didn't recognize due to their eastern homes. You could actually see the ferris wheel lights from the concert flickering in the night sky. Walking back through the park was just as surreal. It felt like being in a movie where only bad things can happen to you.

I met up with Chef Josh and his girlfriend at the show and found out that he was so fucked up at the Toronto show that only four songs in he was turfed by security. So he and Jeff had to leave just as the party was getting started. Brutal.

Okay, this may be the most unpolished post I've ever put out, but I can't think any longer and should really try to get some rest for tonight's show. Oh! I checked out the venue already and have some pictures!

I also drove to Albany to pick up my friend Brian at the airport. It's been some full days! I grabbed a pen at Stephan's IZSTYLE tent and wrote some notes to convey, so I think I'll try to get to that tomorrow.

And of course, I'm having trouble uploading the pictures for this post. Not surprising anymore - another task for tomorrow.

Good night from Saratoga Springs, New York!

DMB In Toronto Pics

Since I had such a glorious seat to the Toronto show, where I was treated to the world debut of Break Free, I decided to sneak my camera into the show. Dodging security guards, I managed to take quite a few pictures, but only some are blurry-less enough for public consumption. Someone has to tell the band members to stay still for a second...then again, even while wielding a camera I’m barely able to keep myself from grooving to the music. Anyway, my seat was just off centre and between the two tall heads in front of me, all I had was a direct view of Dave. It wasn’t too difficult to score pictures of Boyd and Butch, but Carter, Stephan, LeRoi, and Rashawn were impossible to get into a covert photo op. I managed to get most of them into a few group shots, but Rashawn and LeRoi remained elusive.

TO & Darien Preshow

I met two chefs, Josh and Jeff, from New York in the parking lot before the Toronto show. That’s Josh posing with his license plate. They’re supposed to be here today for the Darien Lake show as well, so I’m going to try and find them and their 30 DMB attending friends up on the lawn tonight. I’m in Darien Lake right now! I don’t have internet access though, so I guess I’ll be retroactively posting this. The concert is going to be at the Darien Lake Performing Arts Center, which happens to be at the Six Flags. So I’m camping (read: dozing in the passenger seat of my rental car) at the freaking Six Flags campground attached to the theme park. I left Toronto shortly after checking out, and as a result I arrived here long before concert going time. So I had time to go into a Six Flags for the first time ever. Admission to the park is free with your camping, and you even enter the park from separate entrances that are attached to the campsite. I rode two awesome roller coasters but didn’t feel there was anything else to warrant standing in line by myself any longer. So I’m going to finish prepping this post, then I’m going to eat a sandwich and then I’ll be heading out for my second DMB show in two nights, in two different countries. Oh baby oh.

Instant Insight

You never know when a stranger might impart some random thought about you. Yesterday, an older gentleman, who appeared to be a fellow solo traveller, asked me to take his picture in front of the fountain inside of BCE Place. I asked him how he wanted it centred and then obliged. When I handed him back his camera, I told him to take a look at it before I left in case he didn't like it or wanted another one. After reviewing the photo, in a thick Mediterranean accent he said, "It's perfect. Thank you. You have the soul of an artist."

The New Fans On The Block

The fans that DMB has been collecting by putting out such albums as Everyday and Stand Up irritate the shit out of me. Among many other things, they sit down during the show or simply ignore huge chunks of it, they go ballistic when Dave sticks his arm out signaling the beginning of Dreamgirl, they yell loudly to each other and into their cell phones during songs as precious as Cry Freedom or Christmas Song, they care only for Dave and ignore the other 4+ equal partners, they call LeRoi 'Leroy', and they simply don't care about the music. Basically, these are the people who only think, say, or do things that have come into public favour at any given moment. However there are moments when I am reminded, no matter how many concerts they do their best to ruin for the rest of us, that they do have their uses.

I entered the Molson Amphitheatre last night and headed for one of the barricaded areas for security checks. I was standing there with a couple of guys doing a scenic pan and suddenly found myself face to face with LeRoi Moore. All I could say was, "Holy shit! Look who's standing right fucking there!" So I took his picture (poorly), shook his hand, and thanked him for being such an amazing musician. He thanked me, found the people he was waiting for, and disappeared back into the secret passageways of the venue.

Now LeRoi had been standing there for several minutes chatting with the bodyguard and a security guard who accompanied him, talking on his cell phone, and generally standing around. He was doing all of this while standing smack in the middle of a sea of thousands of "fans" who were heading into the show. Only a very small handful of us even noticed him. So in situations like these, let those fickle fans think that Dave Matthews is the only member of the band! While they're getting drunk and bragging into their cell phones about how cool they are, the rest of us can have an undisturbed moment with the amazing LeRoi Moore.

Begging For Art

I stopped to watch 'Chalk Master' work at the corner of Yonge and Dundas this morning. He had only finished the head of his piece when I arrived and it was stunning. I stood nearby enjoying the feeling you get when you watch art being created in your presence. As I observed, a clearly strung out individual walked past the scene. He or she (I couldn't really tell for sure) was walking in the street and against traffic. Barefoot. On Yonge Street. When he passed the chalk art, he paused briefly to look at it, and tears sprung to his eyes as he moved on up the street. I like to think that in his state, the beauty he had encountered was so overwhelming that he was moved to tears. I returned to the same spot later in the afternoon to see his finished chalk 'painting'. And I stood amazed at what had not existed a few hours earlier, and would no longer exist in just as many hours. It's sad that the current world doesn't have a broader place for such talented individuals to succeed in. I hate that a person, who can create something like this, finds that his place is on the street with two plastic buckets and hope for nothing more than your spare change.

Road Blogging

I'm in Toronto and I'm just about to head to the Molson Amphitheatre to see the Dave Matthews Band from the 6th row. Tomorrow morning I'm starting my drive into upstate New York for three more DMB shows, and it is my hope that this trip will mark my first successful attempt to blog from the road. I'm already delirious as I didn't manage to get half of 40 winks on the red-eye cross-country, so the hours of driving to come should be interesting. I'm not worried, the power of Dave compels me.

Nonsensical Search Results

Sometimes, the things that pop up in web searches make you halt in your Internet travelling tracks and ask aloud; "Wha?" For my last post, I searched Google Image for 'hockey puck'. I was scrolling through the results, and at around the fourth page, amid a sea of pictures of hockey pucks, the following image was sitting there:

Wha?

Muse, Thy Name Is Hockey

I was watching the second game of the NHL playoffs the other day. During one play, a 'Canes shot slid across the crease behind the Edmonton goalie after bouncing off a post. I thought about how that very unique sound might make a player feel, and how we as viewers react when we hear it. Then I had an idea for an art gallery installation. I would have a large room painted black, possibly with black fabric on the walls, and maybe some black velvet ottomans/seats. It would be a darkened and subdued room. A warm white light will glow down from the ceiling and up from the top of a black cube in the centre of the room. Hidden speakers will play one sound on a loop, which will also be the title of the show; "The Sound Of A Puck Hitting A Post".

The Kyorochan Fan Club

Braemar recently presented Wookiee and I with assorted chocolates and treats that he brought home from Japan and Australia. One of these boxes of chocotreats from Japan had a small logo on its side of a parrot-like bird encircled with a banner announcing The Kyorochan Fan Club and it's website (the Google translated version here). I knew I needed to be a fan of this bird. Of course, I didn't go straight to that website (which is actually just the corporate site for all their foods). Instead, I immediately Googled Kyorochan and found this site. When I started exploring the translated version I came across a passage that I thought was just beautiful. I think it's part of a "Contact Us" link and goes like this:

In regard to service the unclear point,
when there is a thing which is troubled,
please inquire unhesitantly with telephone and E-mail.

Now that is fucking poetic.


Oh, and Kyorochan has a blog too!

The House Of Commons Says What?

Sometimes, Canadian politics go a long way to remind me of what I love about this country. Earlier today, the Conservatives' federal budget "was declared passed by unanimous consent with no recorded vote". Yep, it wasn't even voted on. How could this happen when two parties were planning to vote against it? Well, apparently the opposition parties expected a Conservative member to say something about it and then they would respond. But because the Conservative member who was scheduled to speak was not in the chamber nobody realized the budget was being tabled. Later on in the session, when a parliamentarian stood to debate the budget, he was told that he was too late and that as far as the House of Commons was concerned the budget had already passed.

"CBC Radio reporter Chris Hall said none of the two dozen or so MPs in the House of Commons at the time — and that included government members — appeared to realize that the budget had just been passed." (article)

The budget would have passed even if there had been a vote, but the difference is that now it appears as though the budget was much more popular than it actually is. It’s hilarious to me that something like this can happen in Ottawa and MPs, the Finance Minister, and news outlets themselves, can just sort of laugh about it. Maybe it’d be nicer if government at those high levels was a little more organized and aware, but I certainly wouldn’t want it at the expense of our light-hearted attitude.