Spageism #2

For a long time, Wookiee hadn't seen this blog, and until he did, I didn't want to 'ruin' any of the posts for him, so for some time I couldn't mention things that I had posted here. Of course, because of this, he would constantly (and unknowingly) mention things that I had a related post for but couldn't tell him about. In one of these instances, I made a comment about it, but of course, me being The Queen of Non Sequiturs, I left out my whole train of thought and just said, "Dude, you always say things that make me think of stuff."

And Then There Were Four

One of five remaining Canadian veterans from the Great War died this weekend (article). Clare Laking led an active life almost right up to his death at the age of 106. He is also thought to have been the last living veteran in Canada who saw action on the front line where he served as a private with the Canadian Field Artillery, 27th Battery, 4th Brigade. Laking joined the army against his pacifist father's wishes and was awarded the French Legion of Honour and the Golden Jubilee Medal for his service. After the war he said that he began to agree with his father's views regarding war and came to believe that the world should settle its differences without war. It seems to me that veterans of war speak often of avoiding war and its horrors. Conversely, those who have not gone to war seem to be caught up in some imagined glamour of it and continue to encourage the practice. I don't know if humans have it in them to resolve their conflicts without resorting to violence. I'd like to think that we are a high enough order of apes to control our reactionary bullshit, but I think a secondary problem is that the business of war fits too well with capitalist ideals to die anytime soon. Why do I feel sad when a man I never knew dies on the other side of the country? He reminds me of all the people who never got to live out their days at home in peace, and I can't help but think about the handful of people responsible for sending millions to their deaths. I am of course forever grateful to those who sacrificed their lives for a future generation that includes me, but I still hate that the sacrifice was made. We are all responsible for these deaths in some way, the human connection we all share with each other should be enough to make us feel something about these tremendous losses. We learn nothing from each successive war other than how to make them more destructive to the enemy. It's unfortunate that we worry more about improving war machines than we do about fostering a world in which those machines are not needed. I suppose this won't happen until things go too far, and everyone finally realizes that we're all in it together on this tiny planet.

Perceptions Of Failure

Recently Wookiee was telling me about one of his friend's possible new career path. Basically it seems like, we'll call him Kevin, might be able to abandon his sales position for a job that you could call his dream job. Wookiee finished the tale by saying that he and their other friend were relieved to hear about this because they were afraid that Kevin would just end up a failure. This comment irked me somehow, though I didn't know why. My instinctual response was to throw Wookiee a quizzical look, which necessitated a follow-up question to clarify what the hell me meant. He explained that they care about him, and that's why they want to see him succeed, he went on to say that he had the same fears about me. There are a number of things that come time mind following an exchange like that. I thought about how I wouldn't expect my friends to think of me as a failure just because I didn't have the same university degrees and higher order jobs as them. While I see their perception that they are committing an act of nobility because it's in the name of caring for their friend, I think of it more as flat out snobbery. They probably don't want someone who isn't a elite member of society to be associated with them, it saves them having to make excuses and explanations. Of course, I don't know what Kevin feels about his job or future job or his own definitions of success. I certainly don't think of myself as a failure, I'm incredibly proud of almost everything I've ever done, and I'm comfortable with who I am. Maybe I don't define failure in the same way, in fact, my discovery that traditional measures of success are somehow not as important to me, is one of my greatest successes. I feel as though I've accomplished an incredible amount of things. Sure, I don't have my own home, a job I can say I'm emotionally invested in, any stable relationships with any humans, or financial freedom, but these pale in comparison to my internal accomplishments. I've lived a very different life from those of the people I know locally, of course all of their experiences are unique, but they follow a more traditional path. Wookiee in particular must find it easy to find fault in others, and I blame that on his happy home life with decent parents, and a life full of positive outlooks and opportunities. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to hear about the failure assessment from Wookiee, I mean, this is coming from the same guy who told me that his girlfriends are often uneasy with the idea of me, a girl, being one of his best friends until he shows them a picture of me, after which they have no problem with me. Thanks for that blatant in your face insult masked in good humour man. When I told another friend of mine that Wookiee said this, he was horrified. I just shrugged my shoulders, I mean, what can I do about it? I long ago had to reevaluate what kind of friends I have in Vancouver right now. I had to understand that they weren't the same kind of friends that I had when I lived in Ontario, I would have put my life in their hands, I trusted them absolutely, and we were incredibly committed, loyal, and supportive to each other. I would never say the same things about my friends out here. And there's nothing wrong with that, because they're still valuable to me, just in different ways. I haven't found anyone that I can be myself with here. I just modify my behaviour to conform to what those surrounding me are looking for. Wookiee will never know the real me, because the real me wouldn't be a friend of his, she only comes out when she meets the 'right' kind of person. The difference between personas would be like, instead of laughing when Wookiee told me about his girlfriends being relieved at the sight of me, I'd have probably told him to go to hell in colourful language. I originally wanted this blog to be kept a secret from my friends for this very reason, I wanted to be able to express things that they would not approve of or understand. I presume that if I post this I'll have queries coming from a couple of people, which means, I guess, that I'll have to start a parallel second blog so as not to hurt anyone's feelings and to just be free. I don't know, this could just be my exhausted brain overreacting due to stress and lack of sleep coupled with a lack of detailed clarification of what the fuck Wookiee is implying/thinking. I don't think getting an explanation will be hard to come by, I have a feeling that when Wook next reads this, I'll get the director's cut (teacher's cut?) extended version.

Letter to Wookiee #2

Dude, remember one of the restaurants in the Napa Valley I've told you about before, the one with the big fireplace and the yummy food and all that jazz? I was just reading about Aguilera's wedding in Napa including the "lavish Friday-night rehearsal dinner at the Auberge du Soleil resort". As soon as I read the name of the place I knew I had been there...so I checked the website and it totally is the place with the fireplace! So that's my Xtina connection apparently, and it took her wedding for me to remember the name of the damn place. Oh yeah, I'm also sorry to hear that your beloved Alias has been cancelled. I wonder if you've heard that yet...or when you will since you still don't have internet access at home. You're dragging down the national average man! To help soften the blow of the news, I'll add a few picture of Jen for you. Enjoy!

Gunning For Our National Identity

I've long said that the Canadian East, more specifically Ontario, is very American and that the disease is spreading out and taking over the country. I could go on for a long time about how even here in the West I've noticed subtle shifting towards the American style of life. Fortunately America's recent troubles overseas and within their own country have sharpened the focus on what exactly makes us different from our neighbours to the South. I'm happy to see a rise in the general opinion that we are different, that we should embrace that difference despite being inundated with American culture, and that we should not allow that seepage to alter our psyches. Before I get more people angry, I should explain a few things. I'm not exactly anti-American per se, as I do think that America should be able to do whatever they want in their own country. However, I do think that they should probably stick to their own country and not try to force their policies and religion on the world. Needless to say I am sick of having their government, lobby groups, and whatever other groups trying to force us to conform to their ways. And the threats they're constantly leveling at us! No wonder they have such a problem with bullies, that's just the American way. Next, I watch, read, listen to, and generally absorb massive amounts of the American culture that floats around the world like a nuclear fallout, and I enjoy quite a bit of it. Enjoyment of another culture is nothing to turn your nose up at, you just have to make sure you are aware of the distinction between your culture and another. Enough with the disclaimers, the whole point of this is based on this article I read today on CBC.ca. It's about a man in Toronto who was shot twice after telling someone he didn't have a cigarette to spare. Okay Ontario, what the hell are you doing? This is something I would definitely expect to happen in some American state where guns are as prevalent as cars, but in Canada? We barely even have any guns up here and some idiot is going to get his hands on one, lose his temper over a cigarette, then try to murder the source of his irritation? This is exactly an example of the kind of change that is occurring in the East that is spreading to the rest of the country. People are starting to forget what it is that makes us Canadians, and it's nobody's fault but our own. To place the blame elsewhere, well, that would be quite American wouldn't it?

Canadians Are So With The Words

Congratulations to Adam Logan of Montreal! He won the World Scrabble Championships in London besting 105 players from 41 countries. (CBC article) Adam won three games in a row to win the best-of-five final round, the first of which he clinched by scoring 140 points with the word twistier...which I think is more points than I can score in an entire game. Yes, this news is enough to invoke my national pride. It's like how Canadians are inordinately proud of our contribution to NASA's space program, in unison now, Canadarm! As you can see by this page in the CBC archives, the Canadarm is dubbed "A Technology Star" and it doesn't stop with the Canadarm, no no, we were also elated to see "The Canadarm finally 'shake hands' with the new Canadarm2." So is this just because we don't have enough to celebrate or do we really have immeasurable joy for all Canadian accomplishments bursting from every orifice? Personally, I agree with the latter, and I hope I speak for most of us living under the red maple leaf when I say that.
As a side note, when I did a spell check of this entry Canadarm was flagged and the word suggested to replace it was sanatorium. Priceless!

Deep Fried Broca's Area

I haven't posted for over a week now I think. I've been mad swamped with school, work, and hanging with Wookiee. After November, when his girl returns, the Wookiee quotient will be removed. Maybe then I'll get enough sleep to regenerate the brain and come up with some random stuff to post up. I've had a thought here and there of what to write about next, but either my brain is too fried to make the stories work, or the stories were just no good to begin with...I think my vote lies somewhere between those two problems. I've still got some major work and school deadlines to attend to in the next couple of weeks, as well as a couple of personal life deadlines following quickly after...so the posting might be a little erratic until the arrival of 2006. I've got some pictures on my home computer to share when I get a moment, but today I was inspired by something else, which I will leave you with now. I'm using a co-worker's computer today so that I can scan documents all day. On her cubicle wall is one of those dog calendars with a different little picture of a dog for each day of the month. At the very top there's a large quote from somebody named Chapman Pincher that says, "Happiness is dog-shaped, I'd say."

No drilling in Alaska!...Oh wait, never mind.

There has been a little snag in W. Bush's plan to drill in the Alaskan wildlife refuge. Of course the reason the plan has been put on hold is not because of environmental impact, no no, it's because "The Republican lawmakers were concerned the provision permitting oil exploration in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) would jeopardize approval of a larger budget bill." I would like to think that maybe they'll come to their senses and leave the refuge alone, but realistically I think it's a done deal because "...the setback doesn't mean the Alaska proposal is dead; the Senate has included the provision in its budget bill." Elsewhere in the article it mentions that there might be about 30 years worth of oil in the refuge and George W. wants it in order to ease his dependency on the Middle East. I understand that this is a lot of oil, but in 30 years it will be gone, and the refuge will be forever scarred. How high a price are we willing to pay to clutch desperately to a non-renewable resource? We already have the technology to make engines that don't run off of traditional resources and are much more environmentally sound, and yet we continue to plod along using an outdated system. We can't convert overnight, change is gradual, but we have to start somewhere.

Butt Tossers

Honestly I'm happy with the BC Provincial Court ruling that convicted a smoker for starting the huge forest fire of 2003. (CBC article) Before smokers get violently defensive I should mention that I do partake in cigarette smoking when the mood suits me. However, as a rider and a human who cares about the environment in which we live, I have a problem with butt tossers. Even in the heart of Vancouver, in the summer, we get little wildfires burning in medians because of people tossing their still burning cigarette butts out of their hands while walking or out of their windows while driving. The fact is that this is dangerous for all flammable things in the vicinity. I never throw a butt out my window, unless it's raining, until I've put it out or let it go out, and if there's an ashtray available, I use that. If I'm standing about somewhere, after dropping my butt a quick crush'n'twist of the foot renders it safe garbage. It doesn't seem that difficult to do, but then, I actually think about the impact of my actions on others and my surroundings. Let's leave the whole risk of burning things down argument behind for a moment as that court ruling has hopefully made some smokers think twice about where they throw their smoldering embers. I'd like to address the issue of flying cigarette butts on the roadways. I'm speaking from the perspective of a rider, but it also effects anyone who walks, bikes, drives with a window open or has a convertible. When smokers throw their butts out the window while driving that damn piece of flaming garbage flies a good distance and is often in danger of, among other things, flying into someone else's vehicle or hitting people. Personally I ride in fear of one of those butts hitting my face, getting lodged in my helmet, or getting into the collar of my jacket. I have to use all four limbs to ride and if something like the above should happen there's almost nothing I could do to stop the ember from burning away at my flesh until I could find a way to safely pull over...presumably while screaming in agony and cursing the life of the tosser. I've been lucky so far, my friend Dave has not, but he paid the offender back in kind. A couple of summers ago Dave was riding along with his jacket half unzipped to allow some air flow when some asshole in an SUV threw a cigarette butt out his window. The butt landed right inside Dave's jacket and started to burn through his shirt, somehow (I don't know how he managed, but I'm eternally in awe of him for it) Dave managed to grab the butt with his clutch hand without losing control and crashing his motorcycle. With the butt firmly in hand he caught up to the offender's still open window and threw the still lit butt back into his vehicle. Dave kept on riding, hopefully teaching that guy a lesson, and watched in his mirror as the driver pulled over to deal with his own hazardous garbage. Dave was very lucky, like I said before, he could easily have a burn scar on his face instead of a great story of rider payback. Now whenever I'm following a smoker, I take note of their license plate so that if they cause me or my motorcycle any harm with their self-absorbed carelessness, I know who to report to the police. Trust me, there's little I hate more than being involved with law enforcement officials in any capacity, but for fuckers who throw burning garbage out their windows at those around them, I'm willing to go the extra mile.

Parliamentary Knuckleheads

Yesterday Health Minister Ujjal Dosanjh "...said he was shocked to hear of a recent case in his home province of British Columbia in which a patient was told there was a year-long wait for a joint replacement in the public system." Ujjal was shocked to hear this? This is why I don't like Ujjal or most politicians in the game. The 'news' of year-long wait lists has been around for years, it's been the subject of research and studies, and it's common fucking knowledge at this point but somehow the Health Minister can claim that this is new to him. It's no wonder that the public gets disillusioned by government and before long begins to withdraw from the forum. Voter turnout is abysmal and while I try to never miss a ballot opportunity, I do understand the appeal in ignoring it all. What's that line from Waking Life? "...and they haven't given us any choice. Aside from the participatory, purely symbolic act of voting. You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left?" Personally I feel that the halls of government on all levels are dripping with petulant or insolent children looking for attention who, being concerned only with their own careers and not public good, seem to spend an awful lot of time insulting and condemning their political nemeses with the same tired crap day in and day out. No matter how many days in a row the opposition yells at the Prime Minister while backbenchers cheer to earn their pensions (seriously, you should listen to this shit!) I know damn well that nothing is actually happening. Rhetoric will only get you on the news, it will not actually fix anything that all the complaining was about. Somehow politicians just slide by acting alternatively clueless or righteous when it suits them and then have the nerve to question why more people aren't politically involved. Frankly, while I refuse to refuse to vote, this lot of minor celebrity seekers are hardly the kind of people I like to keep in close proximity. I tire quickly of their political veneer, so while the established groups continue to leave me uninspired, Wookiee and I will just have to develop a platform and form our own party. Short of a revolution, this is likely the only way I'll jump into the fray. Either way is fine with me, because more and more I'm feeling the need to move beyond sharing my opinion by casting a vote every now and then. A revolution would definitely be more fun, and I think I'm also better qualified for it.

Wildlife Refuge Open For Business

Only in America can a refuge be considered a great place to start drilling for oil. You'd think that the whole point of making an area a refuge is to protect it from exactly this kind of activity. Apparently in the States the thirst for oil at any cost is far from quenched. I wonder if the average American is even aware of their government's proposal or of the fact that it was just approved by the Senate. I don't think I've ever been more disgusted with our environment raping neighbours to the south. I've been hearing about this idea to pillage the land the States bought from Russia for a couple of years. While Canadians could do little to sway US political/corporate feelings on the matter, which is fair as I dislike them meddling in our affairs, I still thought that there was no way they could ever allow this to happen. Little did I know they were more than happy to stain Alaska with their utter incompetence for a few barrels of oil. Isn't it comforting to know that the American machine will bulldoze their way through anything to get a taste of a little crude? I suppose now they can take a new look at other refuges, preserves, and parks for hints of resources that they can exploit with no regard to the damage or consequences. They could mine Mt. Rushmore, clear cut Yosemite or use the Grand Canyon as a land fill if enough powerful people thought the money was worth it. Things like this go on all the time, and nobody even seems to know let alone care. After the anger subsides what's left is a feeling of great sadness as I'm reminded that our technology is evolving faster than our humanity and those in charge have no interest in trying to remedy that.

Spageism #1

Since this is the first Spageism, I guess I'll do a little intro to the subject matter. I'm a person who is prone to creating words or nonsensical phrases to express myself in a unique style. These Spageisms come forth quite quickly without much conscious interference on my part. As a result of this brain expulsion, sometimes Spageisms make sense, but sometimes they make absolutely no sense and it's all classic Spage. This first posted Spageism is an example of the latter style.

Braemar is driving his truck through town and I'm sitting in the passenger seat, probably smoking a bowl. After a few minutes of driving in silence, I suddenly turn to Braemar and ask, "Was that sound?"

Canadians Are Heavy Users

Last night, or was it the other night?, Wookiee and I were talking about how difficult it has become for us to live without the internet being readily available on demand. The internet has evolved from an avenue to occasionally check your e-mail to a powerful and versatile jack of all trades. In fact, the internet is so much a part of my daily life that I find it difficult to explain how much it permeates everything. There are so many different applications that every individual's interaction with it produces a personalized adaptation of usage. Today I read this article on CBC.ca about Canadians' internet usage. Besides usage numbers, the study was also interested in internet integration into people's lives and the implication on society. Post-research Canadians have been labeled heavy users of the technology, which I've always suspected but never read hard evidence of. The last stat they listed was; "A majority (52 per cent) of Canadian internet users had made purchases online. That's the highest found in any of the worldwide surveys." I guess the question to ask next is how many other surveys they did in what countries, but I'm still impressed.